ARMAGEDDON POP

Philosophy, Chess, and Schizophrenia

Hello! This time, I’d like to write a sort of summary of my main interests. Why “Philosophy, Chess, and Schizophrenia”? I could go on about it for quite a while. Still, I believe the topic is worth exploring. Why? Because all three have played a significant role in my life in one way or another. I became interested in chess when I was 9 years old, when a chess coach was teaching the game to children in the school’s aftercare program. Since then, chess would occasionally come back into my life, until eventually, it became my greatest passion.

Philosophy, on the other hand, caught my interest much later—after I had finished high school and was looking for a university major that would truly interest me. Initially, I was going to study history, which I was passionate about in high school, especially World War II, the most significant theme of the 20th century. However, as it turned out, even though I got accepted to study history at the Pedagogical Academy, I ended up changing my major to philosophy. This happened rather by chance, one could say. When I was at the university with my mom and sister, my sister noticed a notice board announcing that it was possible to apply for philosophy. I saw it as an intriguing opportunity—especially since I enjoyed watching Leszek Kołakowski’s program in the evenings, What Are the Great Philosophers Asking Us? And so, I became a philosophy student.

Now it’s time to mention my experience with schizophrenia. It started, as it often does, with personal difficulties—I wasn’t able to find a job after finishing my studies. I spent my time playing chess on the computer and chatting with people online, day and night. Eventually, I began to drift away from what’s called the “real world,” living more and more in a realm of dreams that felt close to me. But detachment from reality brings unpredictable consequences, such as developing suspicion toward others, feeling threatened by them, or believing in hostile criticism.

And so I began to see the world as alien, hostile, dangerous, and incomprehensible. Eventually, other symptoms of schizophrenia appeared as well—such as hearing voices or experiencing unjustified fear of death.

From what I can say, the line between madness and reality is very thin, even if it might seem otherwise to someone who has never faced mental health issues. From my perspective, the boundary between mental health and illness is extremely narrow. One step is all it takes to fall into the abyss. And climbing back out—reintegrating into society—is extremely difficult. But it is possible, as I later discovered for myself. Fortunately, I had the support of my family, friends, doctors, and other patients participating in therapy. So even when I have bad days, I know there’s someone I can rely on, and I’m not left alone with my problems.

Let’s return to the topic of chess. When did I truly get hooked on the “royal game”? It was right after I graduated, while I was attending a computer science course that I wasn’t particularly passionate about. One day, a friend recommended a website with online games, where you could also play chess. And just like that, my youthful passion came back to me after many, many years, becoming an obsession. There have been chess players who struggled with mental illness—among them Paul Morphy, Akiba Rubinstein, and Bobby Fischer, who famously said, “I don’t believe in psychology. I believe in good moves.”

Well, I’m far from agreeing with that. I do believe in psychology. If I didn’t, how could I have recovered mentally? As a chess player, I also believe in good moves. But I certainly don’t dismiss the importance of psychology in human life.

Finally, let’s say something more about philosophy. Even though chess has taken first place in my life, philosophy still remains an important part of it. Without disciplines like philosophy, psychology, or sociology, how could a person ever understand themselves?

To sum it all up: Philosophy, chess, and schizophrenia are all significant aspects of my life, each with both positive and negative influences. Let me close with a quote from Aristotle: “When you are lonely and feel like the world is your enemy, play chess—it will lift your spirits.”

Marek Wojnicki